Secret Confessions of a Godly Writer

I have a confession to make. Well, two actually.

I haven’t written consistently for months. As a writer hoping to take my craft to the next level, that’s detrimental. I need the practice to hone my skills and sharpen my writing. When I sit down to write, that blinking cursor taunts me.

My second confession? My spiritual life is pitiful. I’ve barely picked up my Bible in months, and my prayers have been scattered and inconsistent. I’m a Christian in name, but not in practice. I’m not proud of that fact, but it’s where I am.

I can feel my life suffering as the result of my choices. Writing keeps me sane and helps me process. Jesus makes me a better person and points out the nasty flaws in my character. He keeps me grounded and reminds me to love others. Take writing and Jesus out of my life, and my brain is all over the place. And my heart hurts.

The solutions are simple. I need to pick up the pen every day. Push through when it gets hard and writer’s block creeps in once more. Even now, typing this, I’m struggling to think of the words I want to say. The solution is simple, but the practice is excruciating.

It’s the same with my faith: simple solution, but painful to put into practice. I know Jesus hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s waiting patiently for me to come back. There will never be an “I told you so” or a smug look on His face. He’ll just welcome me back with open arms, as He always does with my stubbornness. And yet, it’s so hard to get back into good habits. It’s hard to admit how stubborn and lazy I’ve been.

I want to fix it all right now. But I am prone to throwing myself into something full steam and then crashing and burning.

“I’m going to write for two hours a day!”

“It’s time to pray for a full hour and intercede for EVERYONE!”

I know how that will end. I’ll get frustrated within two days and give up again. In order to sustain my writing practice and my quiet time, I need to start small and build.

So today, I will make two goals.

1) I will write everyday.

I don’t have a word count goal, or specific writing topics. I simply vow to get back into the joy of writing. Remind myself how the simple act of pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard), makes my heart whole again.

2) I will spend time in quiet everyday.

No time limit. No pressure to read a Bible chapter a day or pray for a certain amount of time. Just quiet and stillness (without my phone) to give my mind a chance to unwind, refocus, and hear God again.

I’ll fight through writer’s block and continue to practice my craft. In the same way, I’ll fight through doubts and fears about my faith. And I think I’ll be able to work through both problems together. I think writing will help to process those doubts and fears, and getting back to my faith will help fuel the ideas for writing.

It’s kind of cool how they go hand in hand.

Question: Do you ever find yourself in a similar spot with secret confessions to make, either in writing or in your faith? What small, achievable goals can you set for yourself?

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